Over 125 parents listened to the words of noted author and speaker John Rosemond as he presented two parenting sessions at Whitefield on Monday, October 19. In the morning, Rosemond spoke to mothers, focusing on the vicious cycle of stress and exhaustion that occurs when a mother tries to be all things to her kids.
"Women are more than mothers," said Rosemond. "However, some mothers think about their children non-stop. In the 1950s women were not like this even though many were stay at home moms. Today’s moms act like their whole lives are about being moms. Joy in parenting can only be found when there is the proper balance. A mother should act as an authority first and refuse to make her children the center of the universe.”
In the evening session, Rosemond reviewed parenting styles throughout history, and the impact that each phase of history had on parenting.
“The norms of parenting remained pretty much the same for many years, despite changes in culture. However, during the rebellious days of the 1960s, families in America began to change their parenting style from a strong authority structure in the home to a style which focused on a child’s feelings and ‘need’ for self-esteem,” said Rosemond. Rosemond reflected that the focus on self-esteem and children’s feelings did great harm to children’s stability overall.
According to Rosemond, more children are contemplating suicide, struggling with drug addiction, and confused about their lives than ever, primarily because of this shift in parenting styles.
In both sessions, Rosemond encouraged parents to return to the “golden days” of parenting and remain steadfastly committed to biblical instruction. He strongly advised couples to stop being swayed by the conventional wisdom of present-day psychologists who, in his opinion, have abandoned the support of parental authority and replaced it with child-centered parenting.
“In this generation we persuade our children through cajoling, bargaining, persuading, and even yelling. We need to simply tell our children what to do and expect them to do it. That doesn’t mean being harsh or angry. It is just a matter of calmly requiring the behavior you want.”
Rosemond, who was raised by a single mother, reflected that his mother always supported other authority figures in his life – such as teachers, rather than undermined them.
“BF Skinner and others have made good parenting about behavior modification, but using behavior modifications such as rewards and punishments only teaches children to be manipulative. Parents need to assume their rightful role of authority in the home, have a united approach to discipline, and expect obedience.”
Rosemond noted that his ideas on parenting often create controversy among conventional psychologists and mental health professionals who disagree with his approach. However, Rosemond continues to be a best-selling author and syndicated columnist. He has written many well-received books on parenting including Parenting by the Book, A Family of Value, Teen-Proofing, Raising a Non-Violent Child, and The New Six Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children.