Award-winning author and life coach Tommy Newberry addressed over 150 Whitefield parents at a
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special PACK parenting evening held Monday, September 15, in the Lower School Activity Center. Newberry, who spoke last year at Whitefield, returned to share his Big Picture Parenting presentation with new listeners and provide a refresher for parents who heard him last year. He, encouraged parents to develop a long-term approach to parenting, setting specific goals for each child, and making the most of the short period of time in which parents can influence and direct their children.
A focus of the evening was the fact that strong families first begin with strong individuals and strong marriages. “Strengthening your own character and bettering yourself leads to a stronger marriage, ant that in turn, to a stronger family, and stronger children,” said Newberry. Newberry stressed how quickly the parenting years pass and the short time of influence parents actually have over their children.
“Using a novel approach of breaking down the number of days we have with our children before they leave for college, (6570 days, the equivalent of 18 years), Tommy forced me to acknowledge that my time directly parenting my child is limited,” said Belini Teklu, a parent who attended. “His focus on clarifying our core values has made me think deeply about the core Christian values I would like my daughter to internalize before she leaves home.”
Newberry stressed the importance of a family focused on relationships, rather than a structure where parents pull rank, instead of building relationships of mutual respect.
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“The two biggest barriers to building a successful family are a lack of clarity about what a successful family looks like and a lack of urgency, or casual approach to parenting,” said Newberry.
To help with these barriers, Newberry provided a workbook for each attendee and coached the audience through the specific steps parents should take to remain focused and purposeful. According to Newberry, the central component of successful parenting is establishing a family’s core values – the values that are absolutely immovable and cannot be changed by situations or circumstances. These values may include rules for how family members treat one another, how conflict is resolved, or a number of other items. While these values may vary from family to family, they should be memorized and recited by family members so often that there is complete clarity about the family’s values.
Newberry also stressed the importance of treating children like unique creations of God, each with his or her own strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and personality traits. Parents should establish goals for their children, not in a cookie-cutter fashion, but with an understanding of their uniqueness. Part of successful parenting is consistently spending time with children to understand these unique traits and develop goals specific to a child’s calling and gifts.
In creating goals for parenting, Newberry encouraged parents to ask themselves, “What am I doing this week to invest in my relationship with my children? How many interactions with my children emphasize the key character traits I am trying to instill? Based on my long term goals for this child, what is my main focus of parenting today?
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“I have been considering whether or not I have been intentionally focusing on imparting specific values which matter to me to my daughter. Are these goals rooted in the faith I profess? Is the amount of time we are spending as a family reflective of that?” added Teklu. “As a recent widow, both concepts he spoke about could not have been more relevant. I am most grateful that my late husband was a devoted father above all things. However, what am I going to do now? Listening to Mr. Newberry and his proposal that we write down and review regularly our values as a Christian family was the next step I needed to propel me into confident parenting with God's grace.”
At the close of Newberry’s presentation, attendees had an opportunity to ask questions to a panel of seasoned parents. The discussion,, moderated by Dr. Kevin Bracher, enabled parents to interact with one another and offer hope and encouragement through shared experiences.
special PACK parenting evening held Monday, September 15, in the Lower School Activity Center. Newberry, who spoke last year at Whitefield, returned to share his Big Picture Parenting presentation with new listeners and provide a refresher for parents who heard him last year. He, encouraged parents to develop a long-term approach to parenting, setting specific goals for each child, and making the most of the short period of time in which parents can influence and direct their children.
A focus of the evening was the fact that strong families first begin with strong individuals and strong marriages. “Strengthening your own character and bettering yourself leads to a stronger marriage, ant that in turn, to a stronger family, and stronger children,” said Newberry. Newberry stressed how quickly the parenting years pass and the short time of influence parents actually have over their children.
“Using a novel approach of breaking down the number of days we have with our children before they leave for college, (6570 days, the equivalent of 18 years), Tommy forced me to acknowledge that my time directly parenting my child is limited,” said Belini Teklu, a parent who attended. “His focus on clarifying our core values has made me think deeply about the core Christian values I would like my daughter to internalize before she leaves home.”
Newberry stressed the importance of a family focused on relationships, rather than a structure where parents pull rank, instead of building relationships of mutual respect.
.
“The two biggest barriers to building a successful family are a lack of clarity about what a successful family looks like and a lack of urgency, or casual approach to parenting,” said Newberry.
To help with these barriers, Newberry provided a workbook for each attendee and coached the audience through the specific steps parents should take to remain focused and purposeful. According to Newberry, the central component of successful parenting is establishing a family’s core values – the values that are absolutely immovable and cannot be changed by situations or circumstances. These values may include rules for how family members treat one another, how conflict is resolved, or a number of other items. While these values may vary from family to family, they should be memorized and recited by family members so often that there is complete clarity about the family’s values.
Newberry also stressed the importance of treating children like unique creations of God, each with his or her own strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and personality traits. Parents should establish goals for their children, not in a cookie-cutter fashion, but with an understanding of their uniqueness. Part of successful parenting is consistently spending time with children to understand these unique traits and develop goals specific to a child’s calling and gifts.
In creating goals for parenting, Newberry encouraged parents to ask themselves, “What am I doing this week to invest in my relationship with my children? How many interactions with my children emphasize the key character traits I am trying to instill? Based on my long term goals for this child, what is my main focus of parenting today?
“I have been considering whether or not I have been intentionally focusing on imparting specific values which matter to me to my daughter. Are these goals rooted in the faith I profess? Is the amount of time we are spending as a family reflective of that?” added Teklu. “As a recent widow, both concepts he spoke about could not have been more relevant. I am most grateful that my late husband was a devoted father above all things. However, what am I going to do now? Listening to Mr. Newberry and his proposal that we write down and review regularly our values as a Christian family was the next step I needed to propel me into confident parenting with God's grace.”
At the close of Newberry’s presentation, attendees had an opportunity to ask questions to a panel of seasoned parents. The discussion,, moderated by Dr. Kevin Bracher, enabled parents to interact with one another and offer hope and encouragement through shared experiences.